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This Isn't a Restaurant Buddy

Don't you just love it when you try to put something on the table for dinner and your met with the yuck face?

For the last three nights I have prepared healthy meals, that we as a family chose, only to see a dissatisfied face looking at me from across the table. Food is pushed slowly around the plate and then tentatively tasted and tested. Faces are made that are usually only seen when confronted with something rotten or raw sewage. Utensils clank on dishes and sighs are uttered.

Then, a declaration is made. H is going out. So long family, I'm getting different food. That's right. It wasn't T.D. that was putting up the fuss but H. To say that I was mildly peeved would be an understatement. Seeing as part of my "job performance" now is getting dinner on the table I come to view this as a moment where I am not "exceeding expectations". I have failed in the duties within my job description. He leaves to find better fare and I am left insulted and hurt. He waves at the kitchen as he leaves saying, "Don't worry, I'll clean up when I get back." At that point I just up and left the table as well. T.D. toddled off to play with baby and I guzzled a beer that I almost sent flying across the kitchen in a rather childish angry moment.

When H arrived home I looked at his meal. Thai food. A personal fave of mine. Now if I wanted to I could have easily chucked making dinner that night. Or any night. I could have said, "We're eating out!", but I didn't. I'm trying to stick to the rule we established of eating out less. Being more conservative and less frivolous and impulsive with our money. I thought we were in it together. It appears the rule only applies only to me.

Seriously people I'm trying not to be mad about something that seems so small, but when a couple makes a decision I think they/we should stick with it. I can't help but feel that since I'm not bringing in the cash right now that this rule only applies to me and not to H. That Internets makes me angry and I feel it speaks volumes.

Am I wrong here? Am I being totally irrational? Simply put I feel like it was just plain rude.

posted January 30, 2008 - 6:22pm

Comments

See yogamom's user profile
yogamom wrote 44 weeks 5 hours ago

Great post, thanks. I know the feeling! A mother's work is never done... Whew

See sahmiam-laura's user profile
sahmiam-laura wrote 43 weeks 6 days ago

The sad truth is, we can't make food at home that compares to restaurant food. And when you get used to a certain type of food, it is what you crave. Having said that, your H was a big ol' poop to behave that way, and I'd be pretty mad too! Also being a SAHM, I totally understand that feeling of not being able to say anything when H spends money, as well as the feeling of the job performance. Every day is a performance review.

See PnutsMom's user profile
PnutsMom wrote 43 weeks 5 days ago

I have to disagree with the last post. I have successfully put a great Indian, Thai, Chinese, Cajun, Italian, etc. meal on the table. It took a little online research and grocery store hunting for the right ingredients, but it was delicious and probably much healthier than restaurant version.

Your husband should have been more adult about it and sucked it up for the night. Maybe he could help with the planning and prep, and then he could complain freely.

See queenbee88's user profile
queenbee88 wrote 43 weeks 4 days ago

I have to say that it was a fine Italian meal that he picked. We sit down each Sunday to plan our menu together as a family and make up the grocery list. Then I stick the menu on the fridge for the week and we choose what we want. He simply decided he wasn't in the mood for that after all.

Victoria Mason
Freelance Writer
The Mummy Chronicles
Mummy's Product Reviews

See mom2leviandmaci's user profile
mom2leviandmaci wrote 43 weeks 2 days ago

You're a better woman than me, I think I would've surpassed the one beer and gone for two or three Smiley I can so relate to what you are saying. My problem???? We own a pizza restaurant. Do you know how hard it is to serve healthy meals that no one likes when "free" pizza is available to hubby, 18 year old son, and 15 year old daughter any time they want it??? It's impossible!!!!!!!! I've started keeping me a few Healthy Choice meals in the freezer and when they pull their crap I just say, "Fine, I'm not going to bother cooking...eat your stupid pizza." Smiley The only consolation that I get is about 2 a.m. hubby has heartburn and I'm sleeping soundly Smiley with tongue out

See pattireis00's user profile
pattireis00 wrote 42 weeks 6 days ago

I love reading all these comments! It's like sitting in on everyone's mealtimes in their kitchens and just watching everything unfold. Big smiley Yes, I've been there too and can definitely relate! You are not wrong and you are not being irrational. It's important to assert yourself and not feel like a second-class citizen when you're a SAHM. The money your husband earns is family money and you are both doing equally important jobs to keep the family running. I remember for awhile feeling like my husband was really starting to take all I did for granted. That's when I signed up for a yoga class that took place during dinner time so HE could get dinner on the table one night a week. You know what...he actually started helping out more and complaining less. Smiley

I am not afraid to remind my husband that I've worked in the outside world...and I know which job is harder...the one I have now at home!! Seriously, though, I hope you sat your hubby down and really told him how you felt. He does need to remember you're all in it together. Good luck!

Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sl...

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