Wanting one more

So I am a mother of 2 boys, ages 12 (almost 13) and 5 (turning 6 at the end of the year); and my hubby calls it selfish, but I want one more child. Our 2 boys are "ours" in every sense of the word; but the older boy is mine and the younger boy is his from previous marriage (but we have full custody). Of course I'd love to have a girl, but beggers can't be choosers and I'd love another boy just the same! One problem is that our boys fight CONSTANTLY and the hubby gets so annoyed that I want another one to add into the mix. The older one picks on the younger one (typical rivalry) and the younger one whines and screams. Mind you the younger one fights back and is antagonistic just as much as his older brother. Needless to say, we have our hands full with the two boys and I can see and understand how the hubby feels and doesn't want another kid; but I can't help but love children and want one more. We've also been having trouble with the older boy (typical teen stuff) : getting his school work turned in, he lies (nothing out of the ordinary), and other normal teenage stuff. The hubby is worried that the teenager will only get worse if we have another baby; while the younger boy asks me for a baby all the time!! Ha ha ha...As much as I want another baby, I can see his points of view and the reasons he doesn't want to bring another child into the mix are very valid; but how do I get rid of this feeling of wanting another child? My only other concern is that I turn 30 this year, and although I know my age shouldn't be an issue, I can't help but think "do I want to start all over with an infant when my oldest is turning 13?" "Do I really want to have 6 (or more) years between the youngest and an infant...they'll fight just like the 2 we already have" and other thoughts. So does that mean I really don't want another child? Anyway, I'm sure the other mothers here don't really have the time to read all this, so I'll just stop there! But if anybody wants to respond or share their insights, please feel free Smiley

posted June 8, 2008 - 7:22pm

JaysHB's blog
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mom2leviandmaci wrote 24 weeks 6 days ago

Hey Smiley Just to give you a heads up, your teenager is going to get worse whether or not you have another child! He will get really bad around 17. I've seen it with my own and all my friends. Every single one of them. So don't let that single issue sway your husband's opinion to have another one. And if you aren't both 100 percent sure you want another one, DON'T have one!!! I can relate with how you are feeling. Another heads up...30 is no where near old Smiley I am 39 and I am happier now than I ever was in my twenties. With age comes wisdom and a new slant on life. It gets so much better when you are older! I was married for almost 18 years to husband #1, I had Levi 19 and Maci 15 with him. He doesn't see the kids and hasn't for 4 years, the two kids live with me and my new hubby. We've been married a little less than a year. A month ago Levi graduated from high school (he's homeschooled though) and two weeks later we brought home our two new "babies". We adopted biological brothers, ages 2 and 4. So I have almost 12 years difference between kid #2 and kid #3!!!! 17 years difference between kid #1 and kid #4!!! It is challenging, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything. I'm a much better mom now that I'm "older" Big smiley Funny but I don't feel older! Anyway, motherhood is such an up and down ride. Regardless if you have one more or five more, enjoy it because they grow up so quick. Best of luck to you and your family.

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grumpymom wrote 23 weeks 5 days ago

I have two boys and I just had a baby girl and it is great! You will never regret a baby, they are all amazing blessings! We did use the techniques to try for a girl but what's meant to be will be!

Best of luck
www.grumpymoms.com

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