Trying a new sleep tactic
I think I've posted before that my daughter is still learning how to "self-soothe" and thus still, at 2 1/2 and counting, wakes up several times a night. Ugh. But lately she's been learning how to put herself to sleep with less and less help from me, so I'm trying something new to get her to stay in her bed all night without waking her up. I went to the store today and let her pick out some bright-colored poster board and some new stickers. Like most toddlers, she loves stickers! I told her we were going to start a project. I then made a chart and told her she could have a sticker for every night she stays in bed without waking up mommy and daddy, and that when she has 20 stickers she can have a special prize. Tonight is the first night we're trying this, so wish me luck! If anyone has tried similar schemes, I'd love to hear your story and especially whether it was a success. I'll post occasional updates in this group.
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Sleep Forum
pattireis00 (creator)
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Located in Camarillo, CA, United States of America
This is a group for all parents who have questions or concerns about sleep. Newborn waking up too many times at night? Toddler STILL not sleeping in her own bed? Not sure if you should give him another bottle before bedtime? Come and ask the experienced moms at the Sleep Forum.
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1 year 1 day ago
I'm starting to feel like I'm talking to myself here, but I'm hoping that if I keep posting people will eventually start posting in this group!
We had some progress with this plan last night, and I'm feeling encouraged that it's going to work. I had been saying to my daughter that, if she woke up, she should stay in bed and not come to the door to call for us. I probably said "you just try to go back to sleep" too, but I'm not sure. Well, she got the part about staying in bed right! As a little background, this is a girl who, as soon as she could pull herself to standing as a baby, would stand up in her crib the second she woke up. And when she started sleeping in her toddler bed, she'd immediately get up and come to the door. (We put a gate on her room for this very reason.)
So last night she actually stayed in her bed when she woke up, which is a pretty significant breakthrough. She still called for me, and after awhile when it became apparent she wasn't going back to sleep until she saw me, I did go in and help her get settled back down. Put she got to put a sticker on her poster anyway, because I believe she followed directions to the best of her ability. I told her that she did a great job, and reiterated that she should try to get back to sleep on her own. I even showed her how to pull up the covers if she's cold, since I think that was why she woke up in the first place. (She knows how to pull up the covers, but I think it doesn't occur to her to do this in the middle of the night.)
1 sticker down, 19 to go!
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink1 year 1 day ago
Hi Patti - you're not alone out here
I think it might be bit of summer vacation and moms not having a lot of time to on the computer?
Anyway, congratulations, it sounds like your daughter is learning to get herself back to sleep! It really is a great skill for them to have - and VERY helpful for mom to get a good nights' sleep.
Speaking of vacation, we just got back from a short trip up to the mountains and had a very unusual experience. My 2 year old, who you all know now has been an amazing sleeper, woke up in the middle of the night and would not go back to sleep. She cried and screamed all night long! We had to actually get her out of the room, put her in the car and drive around for about an hour (that was at 3AM).
She's never done anything like this before. She was completely inconsolable and just wouldn't go back to sleep. Needless to say, no one got any sleep- so much for a vacation
The next day she was pretty much back to herself, although very tired. When she woke up from her naps, she would cry and it was very tough to get her to stop. Finally she slept great in her own bed!
Anyone have this happen? I'm thinking it could be a combination of a strange place, staying up late 2 nights in a row and maybe the altitude? Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!!
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Permalink1 year 1 day ago
Hi Yogamom! I hope it didn't sound like I was feeling sorry for myself. I really just want this group to get hopping. I've noticed a lot of groups have started and then sort of died out, and I figure if I keep yapping eventually others will join in.
So thanks for joining in! And thanks for the encouraging words. I feel like we've already made a lot of progress undoing our early mistakes with the sleep thing.
I'm not surprised your daughter had a night like this on vacation. Was she on her regular sleep schedule? The reason I ask is she could have been overtired. Even if she was getting her regular naps and everything, she might not have been sleeping as well because of being in a strange place and the lack of sleep finally caught up to her. She also could have been overstimulated too if you were doing a lot of sightseeing or there was a flurry of other activity beyond her normal routine. What you described has happened to my daughter twice, and the first time was after a Christmas party at my DH's uncle's house, where she played very hard, there were sparkly lights and loud music, and everyone was playing and talking to her. The other time was when she had skipped a couple of naps and was generally exhausted.
The altitude could have been hurting her ears too? I'm not sure how high you were and if anyone else's ears were hurting, but it's a possibility. Anyway, I'm glad she got back to normal once she got home. I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds like she bounced back quickly. She may have had night terrors (similar to nightmares, but they happen during a different sleep phase and the children don't remember in the morning), which I believe are fairly common despite what the books say (I've known several parents whose children went through this at least once). I wouldn't worry unless it were to start happening regularly, or more than a few times in a short span.
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink1 year 1 day ago
Thank you! I really do think it had to do with not getting enough sleep and the excitement of the days as well.
She was actually up late the night before (at a party where she was running around and having a great time). Then we kept her up again that night where she was once again running around (overtired) with her friend. They had a blast, but paid for it the rest of the night
I agree with you about the group (and didn't think at all you were complaining). Sometimes it does take a strong leader, but this group was a great idea and I'd like to see it stay active as well!
Thanks again.
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Permalink1 year 19 hours ago
You Are Not Alone!
I know when I tried to start a group, it didn't get off the ground right away (and it still sits!) I wanted to get a group together that meets at the park or somewhere else. I think I'm going to meet my first mom in a few weeks! So, hang in there-I just think we're all pretty busy right now! Talk to you later,
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
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Permalink1 year 15 hours ago
Thanks Anita! I know, everyone is busy. Good for you for sticking with your group. I keep posting around to see if there's anyone in my area, or in the area where I'm moving, but I don't there are too many yet. So I thought I'd try a "topical" group instead of a geographic group! Thanks for the support ladies!
Yogamom: you're welcome! Hopefully you are feeling better about that bad stretch and your daughter is sleeping well.
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink51 weeks 5 days ago
So how is it going?
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Permalink51 weeks 5 days ago
Thanks for checking in Lena! Unfortunately, we seem to have stalled in our progress, although she did stay in bed for 8 solid hours last night (ahh).If she'd stayed in bed for just another half hour or so she would have made daylight. (The rule is she has to stay in bed until the sun comes up.)I think if we keep reminding her, especially when she wakes us up, it will sink in. I think she understands what we're telling her but she forgets when she wakes up and it just needs to become a habit. I'll keep the updates coming!
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink51 weeks 5 days ago
You know, I read something on ParentHacks.com about setting an alarm clock and having the child stay in bed until it goes off. There were several types the article researched. One that I liked was a bunny clock that opened its eyes when it was time to get up. I thought that would be best for us because it doesn't make a sound, your child just looks at it to see when it's time to get up. But I'm going out in the next couple of weeks to get on that either plays an ipod or a cd-we have classical music that we could put on it instead of an annoying beep. The trick is, to set it earlier for the first week, then to keep bumping up the time until you have it set on the time you would like her to wake up. When I actually get around to doing this, I'll let you know how it works.
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
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Permalink51 weeks 4 days ago
That would be great, Anita. Thanks! We actually have a CD alarm clock in her room already, but I never would have thought to actually set it for her. LOL! We use it mainly to play music. Definitely let us know how it works. I may try it either if we don't have luck anytime soon with the "sunshine" routine, or if we get to that point and then want her to stay in bed even longer. (Right now I still enjoy our cuddle time in the early morning but I think she might do even better if she doesn't come in with us at all. I don't want to be greedy.
)
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink50 weeks 6 days ago
Just a quick update since I haven't written in a few days: We have one more night where, even though she woke up awhile before the sun came up, I decided to give her a sticker anyway. I figure I have to keep her motivated somewhat. The last couple of nights she's woken up a couple of times, but 1) it's been hot and 2) she's missed a couple of nights, so I think she's overtired. She tends to wake up more when she hasn't had enough sleep. Her naps have been unpredictable lately and I'm trying to break the cycle by being really rigid with the schedule. It's hard because we're in the middle of a move (we move 1 week from Saturday), but I want to be in a good routine before we leave so it will hopefully continue as we get settled.
So, 18 stickers to go. I'll keep the updates coming but I may not write for awhile while we're packing, unless I have significant progress to report.
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink50 weeks 6 days ago
Thanks for the update!
I'm sure that the move has something to do with the sleeping (and nap) behavior. She knows something major is going on. I bet when you get settled in in the new place, you'll see an improvement and probably more of a set schedule.
Good luck with the packing, and keep us posted.
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Permalink50 weeks 6 days ago
Thanks yogamom. We've been pretty stressed out too, so I think she's picking up on our stress. It's also just hard to keep a schedule when you have so many things going on. I'll be doing errands or something and we get back late, etc. You're right, I'm sure we'll see some improvement once we get settled.
Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area
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Permalink49 weeks 3 days ago
Just a quick little update. It will probably be a week or so before we have any more progress on the sleep plan since we just moved! We are at my mother-in-law's now, staying here until we can get settled in a place of our own. My daughter has officially graduated to a twin bed. We have packed up the crib for the next baby (God willing) to use, and when we move into our own place we will buy a twin bed for Emma. Right now she's sleeping in a twin at my MIL's. She loves it so far but tonight is only the second night.
She's completely and utterly exhausted from our move and from basically not napping the entire time we were packing (I think she napped one day out of 9 or something). But we took her to the beach today briefly, just enough to run around on the sand and wear her out, and we came back and ALL took naps! Hopefully tonight she will sleep well.
Nighty-night.
Patti
SAHM in SoCal
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Permalink49 weeks 3 days ago
Wow, this string is getting long
Congrats on the move Patti, the beach sure sounds nice! Just wanted to update you as well. My daughter continues to get up at least an hour earlier now (and crying, which is not normal for her).
Yesterday she didn't take a nap at all, so I don't think that's the issue. Oh well, we are all adjusting and I'm sure it will be fine.
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Permalink49 weeks 2 days ago
Yeah, I know it's getting long. From now on I'll post updates on new strings. We might get more new participants that way. Hmm, maybe your daughter is having a growth spurt. Sometimes their legs hurt and they don't sleep as well. You might try rubbing her legs just before bed, or even try it when she wakes up if you want to try to get her back down. Or, she could just be changing her sleep patterns. She could be a little grumpy because of less sleep but she might balance out when she gets used to it. Keep us posted!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal
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Permalink49 weeks 2 days ago
HI There- Hope you don't mind I post this in your group but you all seem to be working on sleeping issues and might have some advice for me.....
i am going out of my mind. my 10 month old daughter who rarely has sleeping thru the night issues now has going to bed issues. i have nights were it takes me over 2hrs to get her down. I have tried crying it out - that just turns into a sob fest which gets her even more worked up to the point she throws up, I have tried wearing her down in a carrier, rocking like crazy, rubbing her back, playing her music box, walking, just about everything. She will be asleep snoring in my arms and I put her down and she is screaming. I never have this problem with naps. In fact, I can put her down awake and she falls asleep. But if I do it at night, it is insanely crazy. We have a good routine and this really has only been going on the last month. I am at my wits end. I end up leaving the room exhausted and in tears. Does anyone have any advice?
Mommy to beautiful Avery Jane
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Permalink49 weeks 2 days ago
That's what we're here for! I actually just read an article that said kids will do this right before a major change and, although my son never really sleeps anyway, his sleeping habits have changed in the past couple of weeks. He's just on the verge of walking, so there may be some correlation there. You might want to look into that. I also think that some kids just go through that faze. Good luck!
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
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Permalink49 weeks 1 day ago
Hi girlwolf. This post is in the group Sleep Forum, and I hope you will join. It is ALL about sleep! We love these kinds of questions.
It could be that your daughter is overtired when she gets to bed. I know that happens with mine sometimes. She's had a busy day, and I know darn well she's tired, but we get to bedtime and it's a bit of a struggle. You might try just starting the bedtime process a bit earlier and see if that helps. Or she could be teething or just having a growth spurt. Even the best sleepers seem to go through this sometimes. Just stick to your routine, make sure you are at least trying to get her down at the same time everyday even if it doesn't quite work, and give her whatever extra attention she needs during this time. It sounds like she needs mommy a little more than usual, and I think that's very normal at that age. Keep us posted on how it goes!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal
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Permalink49 weeks 1 day ago
Thanks Patti-
I have been sticking to our routine and bedtime at 7pm. The past two nights have been better, although she will wake up 40 mins to 2 hours later. But I can usually just rock her for a few minutes and she goes right back to sleep. I am hoping this phase might be ending, then we can move onto the next thing.
I thought it was the over tired thing too and I tried to put her down before the signs of tiredness started to show and that worked one night but then not the next night, so I think it is either seperation anxiety or growth spurts - she is starting to pull up and stand up and move all over. I think those are big changes for these little ones. I subscribed to the group as I'd love to be part of it. I live in washington state.
Mommy to beautiful Avery Jane
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Permalink49 weeks 1 day ago
Welcome to the group girlwolf! Glad you signed up. It really sounds like your baby is going through a phase and she'll be over it soon. Pulling herself up and moving is probably the most logical explanation. My little one would get up on her hands and knees in the middle of the night (half asleep!) when she was learning how to crawl. A big part of it is they just want to try out those new skills!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sl...
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Permalink49 weeks 14 hours ago
Oh my goodnes - I have noticed that my daughter does that too - she is half asleep trying to crawl or is sitting up in her crib. All these changes. I talked to her peditrician today and she gave me some advice, most of which I have already tried, but I am going to just keep plugging along and believe this is just a phase. Tonight was another good night, so maybe we are moving past this all.
Mommy to beautiful Avery Jane
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Permalink49 weeks 14 hours ago
Yep, if you've had a couple of good nights you're probably almost out of this. Let us know how it goes!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sl...
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Permalink40 weeks 5 days ago
Hi Patti,
I'm going to try your sticker trick to see if it works with my two year old son.
Our sleep routine has gotten out of control to the point where he doesn't go to sleep until 10:30! He simply won't sleep more than 9 1/2 hours at night and takes marathon 3 hours during the day. I tried shortening his nap during the day to two hours for a week. Not only was he miserable but for every half hour less he napped-he slept half an hour less at night too! I'm at my wits end! He's been waking up a couple of times in the night lately too-just when things were starting to get better and he was finally starting to sleep through the night. Would so love to hear any tips/suggestions!
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Permalink40 weeks 4 days ago
Excellent, good luck! We went through a late bedtime phase too. That's when I knew my daughter needed an earlier bedtime. I think if you miss their natural bedtime, when they're just sleepy enough, then they won't be tired again for awhile and end up staying up too late. The trick there is finding the time that works for you and them. If I were you, I'd focus on finding the right bedtime first, and then adjust the nap accordingly once you see how long he sleeps. I also found that my daughter woke up at around the same time no matter what time she went to bed, so I tried to make sure she was getting to sleep at least 11 hours before her wake up time (I don't know if that will be true for your son or not). We did end up eliminating her nap a few weeks ago, and now she's asleep by 8 p.m. every night.
We've been having some more success with the stickers. In fact I'm about to post an update on another thread. Keep us posted!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sl...
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