Almost 3 and won't use the potty!

HELP! My daughter is going to be 3 in a month and she REFUSES to go potty.

We've tried EVERYTHING. Sitting her there for a long time, reading books to her...

Having a friend sound like Santa Claus and call her and tell her he'd bring extra presents if she'd go potty

I've trained her over and over to say no poo poo or pee pee in my panties or pull ups, yet she will do it 5 minutes later.

We've bought her fancy and cute panties - even ones she's begged for and she still goes in them.

I bought her a potty training doll - she taught the baby how to potty and not herself.....

It's getting frustrating and I or my husband are not sure what else to do!

posted December 5, 2006 - 1:35pm

Comments

diggum wrote 1 year 46 weeks ago

i'm not an expert at this by any means but i am another mama with a nearly 3 year old. we're still battling with this a bit. i know it's frustrating & expensive but i do believe that children all learn in their own time. sure it would be great if they potty-trained themselves at 14 months but it's a rarity, really.

just be patient...stay diligent & don't guilt her into it. she'll be just fine. try not to get too upset by it...she'll learn when she's ready.

big hugs...
d

Permalink

JessicaLeigh wrote 1 year 46 weeks ago

Biologically, a child is not developmentally "ready" to use the toilet until he or she is almost 3 years old. So, your daughter has only just recently become physically able to do everything required to successfully use a potty. I know it's trendy to train babies at 14 months--or to rush them (due to constraints put on parents by daycare centers)...but diggum is right...she'll be just fine. Just relax & it'll take care of itself. Good luck!

Jessica

Permalink

Renee Marcia wrote 1 year 46 weeks ago

This is very encouraging. I too have a 2 1/2 year old and have expectations based on her older sister being trained at 19-20 months old. My second daughter just doesn't seem to focus and although she can go an entire day (sometimes) without wetting her pants, the "poo" department is getting so frustrating. She doesn't even seem to care if she's wet or has a bunch of poo in her pull up. So, is it that she doesn't have the ability to sense what's happening in her body? Or is she just too "busy" playing to care about running to the potty? I feel terrible as I've been getting upset with her, and I'm getting so tired of washing poo out of her underwear. Should I just keep reminding her? Will she just all of a sudden do it one day? I just keep picturing her in pull ups at age 5. HELP.....

Permalink

djungst wrote 1 year 42 weeks ago

You have to remain calm at all times. Be encouraging but matter-of-fact about it and just tell her it's her decision as to what she wants to do, but tell her she's going to wear big girl pants. If she has a accident, make her responsible for changing her own pants. I told my daughter it was her decision, but I got rid of the diapers and pull-ups, let her pick out the underwear, and made her responsible. Now I know she'll need help with some of it, but I told my daughter she would have to take off her own wet undies. She was hysterical and it took FOREVER for her to give in, but I remained calm and she did it! You know, she never had another accident? I would, or course, rule out any medical problems that might be causing a delay, but if you make her responsible, don't get upset, and encourage her successes, no matter how little, it usually happens overnight. And do NOT go back to diapers! Oh you might need to put plastic pants over cloth trainers if you want to avoid huge messes, but in my experience, the bigger the underwear, the better, so they can manipulate the ups and downs at potty time! And don't worry, she's not going to go to college in diapers! It WILL happen one day and you'll wonder what happened to your baby.

Permalink

diggum wrote 1 year 41 weeks ago

me again! syd is 2 weeks past 3 now...doing really well with the potty. just one day...she decided she wasn't going to do #2 in her pants anymore & that was that. i can't remember if she's had an accident since then actually, but she has had accidents at night.

anyway, i read the solution above & until now i've been scared to try the panties...i think we're going to make a trip to the store tomorrow to pick some out & give this a whirl! i'm still scared of the big mess in public thing...i can't even imagine how embarrassing that would be...

Permalink

heather25 wrote 1 year 41 weeks ago

My daughter will be 3 in a few months and she too is not potty trained , she will use it "sometimes" but then she wont , it s all in time they go at there own pace. try having mini cookies up hight in the bathroom and set her on the potty when she goes clap say "good for you " or "good job" keep doing it till she smiles and then give her a cookie

good luck

Permalink

thenolan5 wrote 1 year 32 weeks ago

My daughter was 3 1/2 and nothing was working! I was in tears.

One day I just told her that her diapers were going away, she was a big girl and big girls don't wear diapers. I gave her three days warning and kept reminding her that in 3, 2, 1, tommorow they would be gone. On Sat. she woke and there were no diapers in the house, she had to put underwear on and start using the potty. I also made it very easy for her and put her training seat out in the family room/kitchen so it was always in sight and easy to get to. We also take the training seat with us in the car and she uses it before we get out and when we get back in (cleaner than public restrooms with tiny curious hands).

Take a day off....don't ask, push, reward and decide what will work for you and then stick to it! GOOD LUCK!

Permalink

MLP wrote 1 year 20 weeks ago

I told my son he was having a potty party and he would receive a present everytime he went potty and if he did it all day he was going to have a party with cake, balloons and presents. He was potty trained in a day.

I will say that he had not gone potty at night for months so I knew he was ready. Good luck

Permalink

mom2leviandmaci wrote 1 year 16 weeks ago

My son was 3 years and 3 months when he finally decided he was too big for diapers. My daughter was just under 3. I tried EVERYTHING with my son (my first child). Nothing worked. All that it accomplished was major frustration on my part and my son's part. I literally gave up. Less than a week later, he came to me and said that he wanted the diapers to go away and wanted to wear his big boy pants. I was floored. I'd try some of the suggestions above, but if they don't work, my only advice is don't make a big deal out of it. They won't be in diapers forever, though it may seem like it at the time! Each kid's different and they all progress at different paces. They grow up then you realize that what you thought was a big deal wasn't a big deal at all.

Permalink

pattireis00 wrote 1 year 14 weeks ago

I'm a little late coming to this party (potty party?) but I wanted to add a quick note to diggum: I don't think it would be as horrible as you think if your child has an accident in public. My 2 1/2 yo (actually she's closer to 3 now) has been wearing panties only around the house. When she has an accident, yeah, it's gross, but unless it's diarrhea or something, it should be easily flushed into the nearest toilet, the panties rinsed and placed into a plastic bag, and your child changed into clean clothes. Of course, all this takes a little planning but honestly I think it can be dealt with...when both you and your child are ready, of course. So far I haven't tried it in public because my daughter is just now starting to tell me when she has to "go", but that's my plan for when the time comes!

Patti
SAHM in SF Bay Area

Permalink

kmaston wrote 34 weeks 20 hours ago

I started really trying to potty train my daughter at 2 1/2. My daughter just turned 3 in February and she was great for a little while then not so great for a little while, now she is potty trained except at night. She really called the shots. It all came together in a day I think. But in the beginning she would go on the potty for 2 days straight then not for 1, 2 or 3 days. Eventually I think she got sick of feeling the poop and feeling wet. Your daughter obviously knows what to do or she could not have trained the doll so be happy with that. It will all come in time, she won't be in diapers in college and if you put the timeline in perspective she has learned alot over the last 3 years of her life. Be patient and diligent. Keep asking her if she has to go potty. That will annoy both of you but she will eventually want you to stop asking and will go herself!
Good luck and enjoy these times! Big smiley