Daughter doesn't want daddy

My daughter is 11 months old, and seems to want nothing to do with her father. It is not only when I'm around, it seems to be when anyone else is around she prefers anyone but my husband. He adores her, and this is crushing him. I could understand if her obsession was just with me, but it seems to be with everyone but my husband. I know children go thru stages similar to this, but I've only heard of them wanting 1 parent or the other.......not wanting other family members instead of her father. Advice?

posted November 1, 2007 - 6:10pm

Comments

studio4moms wrote 1 year 2 weeks ago

That's a toughy. She is in the "stranger phase" & will generally prefer you. My daughter was afraid of all men for a long time, even her dad for a bit. I encouraged him to take her on short errands. She cried at first, but stopped as soon as she couldn't see me and the scenery changed.. I would ask these questions:
Is your husband gone a lot? so that she sees him as a stranger?
Is there stress between the two of you that she may be picking up on?
Does he behave with her in a way that could scare her, ie, throws her up in the air as he might with a little boy? or any other behaviors you can identify? Hold her in a position that is uncomfortable? Does he have body odor that could bother her, or wear strong cologne?( I know that sounds weird, but some people are really sensitive)
If the answer to all of these is no, I would say try to spend time together as a family. Dad shouldn't push himself on her, but I would encourage him to do thngs with her both with you around and with you not around. Does she scream continually for you when you are in her vision, but not when you are gone? or does it help if you try soothe or make it worse?
Talk to your pediatrician about this, also.

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1STTIMEMOM wrote 50 weeks 1 day ago

that is sad
try to have him pick her up from her bed in the morning and tuck her in at night, start out with a walk around the block then build it up to short trips were there is only the 2 of them this will make them bond a little and don't be co quick to pick her up when he is around let him do it. it's normal i think for any kid to want mom more than dad in my case when i was little i was very afraid of my dad and would go with everyone alse exept him but once we would actually go out just the 2 of them i would love it give her time and do't get discouraged it takes time. good luck

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lucysmom wrote 32 weeks 6 days ago

my husband is going through the same thin with our 9 week old... granted she is a lot younger, but when I asked the nurse about it she offered a couple of thoughts. She said that often babies/young children are startled by deep voices or loud voices perhaps your husband could try to talk in a voice a bit higher around her? the other piece of advice may or may not pertain to your situation- are you breastfeeding? Perhaps she has some odd association with that?

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